Although we have been experiencing changes in plans, sickness, and unexpected surgeries, the Lord has filled even my (and my family's) hardest days with sweet blessings...some obvious, some subtle, but all welcome.
Life with two little girls has already given me some sweet moments. Vanessa often goes up to Nicole and "explains" to her what's going on, or sings to her when she's sad. Nicole sometimes will blink first, not sure if she's going to be tackled or kissed, then responds with happy wiggles and smiles. It's neat to see them develop a relationship with each other.
Vanessa is quite the creative soul. I love her imaginative mind! Lately, she has been saying some pretty cute things:*The other day, Vanessa announced, "I'm going to work." She then came over and gave me a kissed my knee (all she could reach since I was feeding Nicole), and continued, "Love you so much! See you later!"
*Sometimes I can't fully figure out what Vanessa is saying. One time I was eating breakfast with her and she jabbered about something. I guessed. "You hear the birds singing?" "No, Mommy, the birds aren't singing, they're eating plums."
*Last night she tried on some colorful sock-booty things, and commented, "They're kind of funky!"
* One morning Matt brought Vanessa into our room, and she snuggled close, looked at me, then looked at Matt and said, "Mommy's cute!" What a nice way to wake up!
*There's no real story to these, but Vanessa's nickname for Nicole is "Micoe-coe-wi," one of her favorite foods is "taco times" (tacos), she loves being wrapped up like a "baby tister," and she likes to read "book a Mormon tories."
I have recently discovered how to get Vanessa to smile for pictures by telling her to show me her "happy face." It's nice to have smiley pictures, even if some of the smiles are a little cheesy. (I also have to point out that she's been lining and grouping things by size...wherever she is)
Nicole, despite her escapist tendencies, is my little ray of sunshine most days. She loves to just be around you and will often "talk" and smile to whoever will talk to her. She also loves cuddling with Mommy.
She even did great with the most recent surgery. This time when I came to see her in recovery, she was content and virtually hidden under a pile of warm blankets while the nurse quietly charted her stats. She kept trying to give us smiles that day in her drugged up state.
(By the way, we will have to go up again Monday...she's been moving the right foot a little since Wednesday. Hope for the best!)
Matt has been the source of many of my blessings. While, no doubt, stressed and sleep-deprived himself, he has done many sweet and thoughtful things for me and sends me out of the house from time to time so I can feel like a sane human being on rough days. He even made me a delicious breakfast in bed this morning, which Vanessa excitedly helped make and eat. Matt also is so cute and loving with the girls, who are both so happy to see him when he gets home.
He recently found out he was chosen for a scholarship. This will help cover most of his school costs for the first year! In addition to his outstanding academic experience, we think that Nicole's medical needs helped him to get it (it's sort of a financial hardship grant). There's one of many silver linings in that cloud! On the financial note, we also learned that we got accepted for government help, and most importantly, that our girls will be covered by Medicaid once our other insurance ends.
We love our new place and our new ward. Adjusting to a family ward is a little different from our married student ward, but we have found the "diversity" to be a great help. I feel especially drawn to other women whose children have also had to be at Primary's Children Medical Center for various health concerns. My own belated news may not seem exactly a blessing, but I was called as the new Enrichment counselor (church leadership responsibility). It has required more of my time, and therefore more of Matt's, but I feel the Lord has used that as a way to pour more blessings on our family and to bless me with a network of good friends to relate with.
We are blessed with wonderful family and friends. We have received your help, encouragement, and compassion at key moments. Often your thoughtful calls and expressions of love have been just what we've needed when we feel drained or overwhelmed.
Most importantly, I am grateful the Lord loves me and my little family. I find all of this stuff with Nicole to be quite emotionally and physically draining, and some days are just hard. But I know the Lord has helped us, in all that I've mentioned here and beyond. Every day I can see His hand in my life, and I find incredible joy and peace despite the tough times. I know He loves my sweet Nicole and Vanessa, and although I worry at times what struggles they have ahead, He reminds me to "pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good..." (D&C 90: 24).
